would everything had been like this if it had never begun in the first place.
sometimes such things are really worth our time to consider and wonder.

5:38 AM;
won't be left ALONE

sometimes i really wonder. do the people who the post are meant to be written for actually sees them..

5:34 AM;
won't be left ALONE

cant sleep. great. what a good time to not be able to fall asleep. lessons tml at 10 in the morning. after such a long day today and i still cant sleep. -_-|||


281209

today was the start of school after the two weeks of break. retarded school. cant they just start next week instead and let us have this week to rest. lessons till thursday and fridays lessons have to be postpone to the following week for make up lessons. isnt it a waste of time. but anyway. i am fine with it. it is life. get used to it. nothing always goes your way.

ya. anyway. was supposed to wake up aat 6.45 this morning for me to take my own sweet time and prepare. but only woke up at 7.30. hahas. and i still took my own sweet time. therefore when i left house i was sort of late already. lessons starts at nine and at nine i am still at the busstop waiting for bus 8. reached school five minutes late after the fifteen minutes grace but the teacher understood that we were still in christmas mood so he let it go. got back static and strength of materials results. 32/50. at least i passed. then had two lectures and break before another two lectures. the lecture right after the break was aerospace physics. was quite interested to listen but somehow i still managed to fall asleep. but was ok considering i only fell asleep for 20minutes throughout the whole day. the last two period was e-device lab. today was a totally crappy day as my lab couldnt be completed. and i left early at 4.30 after being very frustrated at it. going to complete it later on after my lessons today.

then i rushed home to put down my bag and wash up abit before leaving house to go over to uncle james therefor my zhong yi treatment. today was the fourth session already. and he said this time it was much more serious compared to two years ago. so it needed acupuncture. todays session didnt hurt as much as the needles used were finer. and he said that i could start to do some light training already. and that was the sentence i was waiting to hear for i very long time already. so went home and had my dinner before going to bathe. it is weird to bathe before going to exercise but i did it. so went out to cycle. it has been long since i went cycling. so went to the seaside at pasir ris park and cycled six times from end to end equaling 3 rounds. it was already 12 by the time i was home. so bathe again and watched soccer before trying to sleep which i couldnt and here i am using the computer.

tml is going to be a long day. starting to get tired already. good timing. and it is already 0533..-_-

5:04 AM;
won't be left ALONE

i am suddenly relieved that i came to see something and understand it. it seem so late but however true it is. would anyone ever see it coming their way.

having term test this whole week. today is the fourth day into it with another paper left to go tml. and i havent even started studying for it. what a great thing to be doing janus. for the past four days i dont even know what i am doing. it is a term test yes i do know. but whenever i step into the exams hall. i feel nothing else except a feeling of empty-ness in myself. i wasnt even confortable doing the paper for all four days except today. everyday when i hear the examiner saying put down your pen. my heart felt like crushing to the ground. why.............

i know that i am simply going to fail the paper. i have got no one to blame. studying but not studying hard enough. paying attention but not to your fullest. the only paper that i finally that i could have done was screwed up by me again. there was only four question but i still couldnt finish it. i felt i had it but failing to finish it dented myself even more. great...

what more the paper coming up tml is my worst of them all. so what if i have gpa of 3.75 for the first semester only for it to drop down only after another one semester more. such a failure.

somehow i can feel as though my mind filled with everything is going to explode.



but still i have to live on. still have to be positive.

i am being random today. whoever is reading this dont mind me.

i am releveed that i have worried for nothing...

10:04 PM;
won't be left ALONE